Richard 'so good with chopsticks he only needs 1' Alexander

Hong Kong was great, until i got to the airport. I was a little early for my flight so i decided to get some food before i flew. I went up to the counter to pay for my KFC (fast food joints are only allowed when traveling if they are in an airport. Its the rule) only to find i didn't have any cash left. No problem, just get some from an ATM. I left my 'chicken' at the counter and found an ATM only to discover that my usual visa debit wasn't in my wallet. Not panic time yet, probably just in my other shorts. So i had to go into my big backpack to get my backup credit card. I put it into the ATM and put in my pin. INCORRECT - TRY AGAIN. ok... INCORRECT - TRY AGAIN..but its definitely... INCORRECT - YOUR CARD HAS BEEN RETAINED. OK, panic time. I fished out my emergency $50 and paid for my now cold food. After searching thoroughly through my bag and finding nothing I checked my bag at the check in desk. As i walked away wondering if my life could get any worse, my flip-flop snapped rendering it useless. I was on a flight to Saigon, alone, with 1 shoe, $45 to last me indefinitely and no plans.

Fortunately Vietnam is a good country to be stuck in with a money problem. $45, or 810,000 Dong, goes a long way. My first day i visited the Cu-Chi tunnels which were used by the Viet Cong when fighting the Americans. The tunnels were cramped but quite interesting.
There was also optional gun shooting, a tad insensitive some may say. I, being insensitive, chose to shoot an AK47. It was alarmingly similar to paintball. The next day was raining so i thought i would go to a nice hotel about 2 miles away to use their indoor pool. I went up to a man beside a motorbike (moto taxi's are everywhere) and he said he would take me after we had agreed a price. At this point he started walking away from the motorbike and towards a romantic looking pedal rickshaw. I grudgingly got in and gave the driver a look of "this isn't what i agreed to", and spent the next 25 minutes getting soaked and laughed at by every passing motor biker as well as pedestrians, shop owners, school children, etc.

When i got back to the hostel there was a new person sitting on the bed beside mine.

Me: Hi, you traveling alone?
Stranger: yeh
Me: Want to get some food and check out the night market?
Stranger: Sure, just let me finish by beer
(Stranger reaches into a plastic bag and pulls out an un-open beer. Opens it.)
Me: How many have you had?
Stranger: Um... 6
Me: ...oh

The stranger, Jules, was from Germany and had just finished a year working in Australia. We went out for drinks that night and met some other people who were headed for Dalat (in the mountains, 8 hours away) the next day. Being a few drinks in, we decided this was a great idea and booked tickets right away. The 2 people we were traveling with were an Iraqi/American atheist who used to own a bar in Panama and an Israeli girl. In Dalat we met a couple from Stratford. The 6 of us became travel buddies and took the 'top gear Vietnam special' route up through the country for the next 2 weeks.

Highlights included a beach party in Nha Trang where Jules disappeared, then reappeared soaked. The next day he told us he went for a walk along the beach and fell into the sea. Hoi An, where we all rented scooters and found a deserted beach. That night a promoter for one of the bars tried to coax us in with the promise of free drinks. After assuring us there was no catch, we went along to discover a small bar with drinks completely free from 9pm-11pm. It was only 9:30 so by 11:30 we were out again having drank plenty and paid nothing. Halong bay was a really nice place to finish my trip around Vietnam.

Having spent so long in Vietnam it meant shortening my trip to Cambodia. After flying from Hanoi i arrived in Siem Riep. Today was spent cycling around the Ankor Wat temple complex. It wasn't a great idea to choose to cycle since it is the rainy season, about 35 degrees and the distances are rather large. This gave me the choice of either a raincoat/plastic bag and getting soaked in sweat but having a dry rucksack, or no raincoat and getting soaked by rain along with by rucksack. I came home exhausted but impressed. Next is an apparently awful bus to Bangkok where i start my trip to Bali.

Some snaps.


A Vietnamese local takes a nap.














The crew enjoys some pizza.














Beach time in Nha Trang















Halong Bay.
















Ankor Wat.

Hong 'How much!?' Kong

I left the martial arts academy just over a week ago now. It was a strange mix of emotions to leave as I was enjoying it a lot and miss the friends i made. However i don't miss the constant bruises, cuts and general pain so much. I got the train from Yantai to Xi'an which took 25 hours. It wasn't a great 25 hours as i only spoke to a 9 year old Chinese boy (i made my first joke in Chinese, i was very proud) and didn't eat or sleep much. The bed was a top bunk and was rather short and close to the ceiling so i couldn't sit up or stretch out properly. I got there eventually and found my hostel. I met a Uruguayan/Israeli who was impressed enough by bad Spanish and worse Hebrew to invite me to see the Terracotta Warriors the following day. They were quite impressive but very similar to photos obviously and exactly how you would imagine them... but with more Chinese tourists surrounding them. Xi'an isn't the most exciting city and i was glad i was only there for a couple of days but it was really nice to start meeting people and hearing there stories. The real travels had begun. As i was now a real traveller i had to wear flip flops at all times and clear some space in my bag to accumulate junk and useless tat. I sent my large towel home along with my trainers and waterproof jacket and went to Yanshuo.

I arrived in Guilin in pouring rain. I hadn't considered that it may be rainy season in south china during may and June before jettisoning my jacket and towel. From guilin i had to get a bus to yanshuo. The bus took 2 hours instead of the 30 minutes it should have taken as the woman selling the tickets was hanging out the door the whole time, and hopping off every 100 yards to try and harass locals and tourists alike into going to yanshuo, 'cheap price' of course. I got off the bus and started the search for my hostel which i had dotted on a rough map. It wasn't where it was supposed to be. It was still raining, i had no jacket or towel and had my big backpack (admittedly slightly lighter) was weighing me down. I was getting a little antsy to say the least. A chinese guy came up to me saying he knew where my hostel was. Turned out he just new where a hostel was, not my hostel. Anyway after trudging around with him for an hour we found it. At the desk they asked me for payment (i had already paid a deposit) so i went into my wallet and realised i had run out of money and needed a bank machine. No problem, my new chinese friend knew where a bank was just round the corner. It was out of money. The next bank, chinese agricultural bank, only for farmers... obviously. The third bank would not accept my card. So i went back to the hostel moneyless and wet. They agreed to let me pay tomorrow and my new chinese friend, chao choo, said he would buy me dinner. Turns out he was a student and just in town to practice English. I was happy to talk to him for a free dinner. After that shaky start (i eventually found a bank that accepted my card) and with a new friend in tow i went about exploring the countryside around yangshuo. Its an amazing place. Huge karst hills covered in trees are everywhere and are crossed by streams and rivers.


I went about exploring by bike and then by scooter the next day with chao choo. We spoke to local farmers who use buffalo to plow their fields and rice Paddy's. It was interesting to see rural china and speak with local people. The food, although equally interesting was not always a great experience. Especially with chao choo saying "this is a very special dish here, we should get it". "It" always seemed to be far too spicy for me and usually involved me putting on a brave face as a variety of animals and weird vegetables were served. I met other people at the hostel and we went for a swim at a secret beach which was great and i also went with a swiss couple and choa choo to hot springs and mud pits which were in a cave. To get to the hot springs and mud pits you had to go on a boat into the cave which was very low and claustrophobic. I would liken it to the pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney, but with no pirates, no singing and no regard for safety. The mud pits were fun and i got a few good Martin Sheen/Apocalypse now inspired pictures. After 4 days or so in yanshuo i got the bus to shenzhen.



The bus to shenzhen is a sleeper bus. I had never heard of a sleeper bus but thought that 12 hours over night on a bus with beds would be better than a bus with seats. I was wrong. The coach is arranged into three rows and 2 levels of beds. The beds are too small for an average sized westerner. You are forced to put your legs at awkward angles just to fit, comfort was clearly not their number one concern. Then you get people shouting on the phones in chinese, people smoking and a movie on all night with sound. Why have sound on a sleeper bus? About 3 hours in, the bus was full but that didn't stop them picking up passengers. A guy came and made his bed on the tiny aisle space between me and the next person. His head was literally 2 inches away from mine. I turned the other way and put my jumper over my head to make it less awkward. This was fine for 10 minutes until he fell asleep (quite how, i don't know) and started to lean into me. I had to keep pushing him off, fairly violently at times, but he just continued to sleep. After a sleepless night i arrived in Shenzhen with extreme pain and numbness from the 'bed'. I wasn't at the bus station i thought i would arrive at and it took me a while and much pointing and pantomiming from the local officials to realise i had to get to the other end of the city to go into Hong kong.

Finally i arrived in my hostel at Hong Kong after a bus, taxi, train and an hour on the metro. I was told by the receptionist check in time wasn't until 2. i had 3 hours to kill, so being tired and hungry i went to the cinema. It was nice to sit in a comfortable chair and just watch a film that wasn't in chinese. I got back to the hostel and met my new room mates who were just about to go for food so i joined them. Then we started drinking at the hostel which led to going out of the hostel to drink and into the bar area of the city. It was pouring down all night but was great fun. I got lost for a short time and fell into a large puddle in front of a lot of people, it wasn't my finest moment but i picked myself up and got on with it. The night ended at 5am with me talking to a guy from LA in a McDonalds about nightlife in bangkok... that's not a euphemism. This morning i didn't feel great, although the vomiting sounds coming from the toilet told me i was doing better than some of my roommates. Hong kong is great but really expensive so its probably for the best that I'm leaving for Vietnam tomorrow.


P.S.

Now that I'm out of china and can use my blog properly i will try to put pictures up in the relevant places in each post. My chinese phone is out of commission so don't try to call. Keep the emails and messages coming.

End of the kunyu shan dynasty

In a few days time I will be leaving Kunyu Shan martial arts academy. Its been hard work here at times but lots of fun. The past week has been quite busy. Firstly there was a grading which meant getting up on a stage on my own in front of the whole academy with the masters sitting at the front. I ran through the moves that I had learned which was a complex series of punches, kicks, sweeps etc. It was quite a scary moment but i did well enough to pass without my shorts splitting or any other disasters.




Friday was sparring day and against all my instincts and common sense I decided to go for it. Again the whole academy watches, standing around the boxing ring shouting encouragement and advice. The fight is two 3 minute rounds with a short break in between. It went reasonably well, I wasn't bleeding at the end and I was conscious so an overall success. My opponent, Andrea, thought it went well too... No, he's not a woman, just Italian.



That night we went out to a club in Yantai which was great fun and a huge contrast to life here at the academy. The rest of the weekend was spent laying by the lake in the sun and going for the occasional swim. There are snakes that live in the lake and can be seen swimming about (6 feet + !!), but the Chinese guy we asked said they weren't poisonous and very tasty.



When I leave here I'm travelling solo again and getting the train to Xi-an for a few days. Then travelling through China to Hong Kong and on to the South East Asian part of my trip. I should get to Vietnam by the last day in June.

Kung Fu Griping

For the past 2 weeks I have been in a martial arts academy in the mountains of China. Life here is very enjoyable in some aspects, and less so in others. The academy is a little like a boarding school with about 50 pupils, 6 'masters' and 4 translators. I share a small room with an american/arab who wears a cowboy hat and prays 3 times a day. The 3 toilets on my floor are shared between 25 guys and the plumbing is basic so... you get the idea. Meals are eaten in a food hall when the bell goes and is always rice, served in a big pot at the end of the room , and 5 plates of chicken, egg and vegetables in one combination or another. Apparently the food used to be terrible but is now quite nice... if you like chicken and rice.

Training is done either in the academy or at the temple which is a short walk up a steep hill. The temple has about 60 stairs which lead up to it and is exactly what you would imagine it to be like from any kung fu film you have seen. There is a platform at the temple where we practice and it has views of the mountains in the national park (http://www.chinatravelguide.com/ctgwiki/Kunyu_Mountain_National_Forest_Park).

If I had to choose anywhere to get the shit kicked out of me, it would be there. Training is split into groups under different masters depending on what you want to learn. My group has another scottish guy, an australian, an englishman, a hyper-active 16 year old brazillian and a guy from oman. Our master, or sheefu, in chinese, is Wong Sheefu, who speaks very little english but manages to get his point across by kicking us or shouting one of the 3 phrases he does know, 'more power!', 'punch' or 'kick'. Although that is just as good as my mandarin which includes 'hello', 'this one' and 'thank you'. The training includes a lot of running, a lot of stretching (including power stretching where you stretch as far as your body allows in a certain place and 1 or 2 people will stand/push on you to stretch you until you scream... then hold it for 30 seconds), conditioning (where a part of your body gets hurt lots by people hitting it and the theory goes that next time it won't hurt as much - Im still to see results), kung fu forms (punches, kicks etc), meditation (which on friday was sitting in shorts on a rock in the middle of a stream for an hour in 30 degree heat. Relaxing until the sun burn comes out), Power training, weights and sparring.

(This is a picture of my Sheefu (master) putting

his kung fu skills to good use by balancing on the
top of a ladder whilst fixing an electric box)

Every month there is also the chance for people to fight each other in the ring with the whole academy watching. This was on friday and Antonio (the hyper-active brazillian in my group) decided to fight properly for the first time. He was put up against Carlos, they touched gloves and the fight started. Its important to know at this stage that Antonio claims to love kung fu more than his mother (who shipped him off to china for 5 years to study it at the age of 16) and he has an unhealthy obsession with Bruce Lee. So the fight starts and Antonio steps forward, makes a 'whaaaa daaaaaaaaaaa!!!' screaming noise and kicks Carlos in the groin (which isn't allowed). Carlos doubles over and isnt heard from for the next 15 minutes, the whole time of which the entire academy is laughing hysterically.

Yesterday was a day off and i went into the local city (an hour away) called Yantai with 5 other students. We did some shopping then tried to find lunch. We decided that it would be good to try dog. So after telling our taxi driver this and a bit of a wild goose chase we ended up in a weird back alley with lots of animals in cages. Turned out to be a chinese pet store. So after looking at the animals for a while we decided most of us couldn't stomach dog for lunch so went for some silk worm instead (i passed on the silk worm too in favour of the more appealing 'mystery' meat).





After lunch we went to the beach which was packed. We got lots of stares to start with and even more once we started practising our punching and kicking routines in unison. Fortunately most of the stares were directed at Andy who is impossibly muscular, very blonde and has dreadlocks down to his bum. We later had a much deserved pizza hut and headed home. I have another couple of weeks here, then I'm off travelling through china with my limited mandarin and my now extremely full backpack.

P.S. Since writting the above I got back to Andy saying "Did you see the news?!". Confused I took a look at the paper he was waving about and it turned out one of the people taking pictures of us on the beach had been a photographer for the Yantai paper and Andy was on the front cover with a headline that translated as "white people practice chinese martial arts on the beach". Sadly they missed me out of the paper, obviously I wasnt quite 'white' enough for them.

Destroyer the Hairdresser and Cakes made of nail polish

China have censored my blog. This means i dont know what i last wrote so excuse me if i cover old ground. (you may wonder how i managed to post this... thanks mum).
I was in Outer Mongolia about a week ago, so here is a brief summary. Stayed in a traditional ger camp, which is basically a tent/teepee thing. The countryside was nice, squat toilet out houses not so nice... especially in the dark. Curiously though in the middle of the mongolian steppe, miles from anywhere there was a small recreational hall (the only stone building for miles around) and in it was a full size snooker table. The mongolians were giving me all manner of snooker chat, 'did you watch the lastest tournament at the crucible?', 'what do you think of higgins?'. I dont think they were impressed with my knowledge.
I also went horse riding round semi dangerous cliffs (only dangerous when on a very nervous horse), tried some archery, hiked and saw some local yaks and wild horses. Back in Ulaan Baatar city i helped a charity project by digging a hole for an out house with a couple of my fellow travellers. When they told us it had to be 2m deep it was hard to hold back the "what a load of shit!".
After a discussion with Frank (an australian fellow traveller) about his goatee i discovered it had been on for 15 years. Since Frank is only 35 i found this slightly shocking. I agreed to shave my head if he got rid of the beard. We had both been putting this off for a while when we found we had free time. So we headed to a salon stylist place called 'destroyer' which seemed a strange and quite ominous name for a hairdresser. Anyway i got my head shaved and the only thing that was destroyed was my illusions of a perfect hairline. Frank duly followed and shaved his beard (he had it back 3 days later).
After Mongolia i got the train south through the Gobi desert, which was... dry and sandy, into china. On the train it was a girl called kirtys birthday. Someone had kindly bought her a cake and as it was opened a strange smell filled the carridge. Thinking nothing of it and cutting rather generous slices, we tucked in. After one bite it was clear that this cake was not for human consumption. It was filled with acetone (nail polish remover) and tasted, well, like it was filled with nail polish remover. I swallowed one bite and felt ill for the rest of the day. I eventually reached Beijing and have said goodbye to trains and my fellow travellers for the time being. I have made lots of friends and contacts for when i visit australia, so i shouldnt be short of a bed.

Beijing is a great city. The best part about it is the tiny streets called hutongs, which is where people live, sell things, travel through, keep pets, cook etc etc. good fun to walk through. The great wall was pretty great but quite cloudy. Food is great. I leave shortly for Yantai to start my shaolin kung fu training which should be... interesting.
P.S. should you wish to get hold of me, you can call me on my chinese mobile. From a landline, and to get the 1p a min rate, call 0844 861 7878 then listen to the automated instruction and dial 008613141140807. to text, its just +8613141140807... i think. im 7 hours ahead so no joly drunks calling at crazy hours
PPS. The reason the cake was filled with acetone, or so I guess, is that it is an offering for the Bhuddist Temples or Shaman Shrines and it is meant to last for ages and not be eaten. Quite why they have to fill them with sugar and flour I don't know.

For those who are concerned

I had the tick analysed in a lab and it is as healthy as a tick could be. Which means i remain disease free... for now

Ticked off

Sorry it has been a while since my last post but i have been rather busy with trains and... well really just trains... and really just one train. Since i last wrote i have been to Moscow, Suzdal and Listvyanka (on lake baikal). Not much else exciting happened in St Petersburg other than an angry thug man coming up to me and shouting russian in my face whilst making a blade across the throat sign. At this point i was a tad scared and reverted to my britishness by replying loudly and slowly, "Im sorry, i dont speak russian and dont understand you". I turned and walked away as casually as i could and hoped he wouldnt follow. He didnt and my throat is still in tact so... the lesson is, treat all would be muggers with good manners and a polite smile.

Suzdal does not deserve a paragraph. Its not that it was bad, just unremarkable. I would sum it up by saying it was overcast and had more churches in it than you could shake a stick at. (i do realise that by explaining why Suzdal doesnt deserve a paragraph i have given it one but hopefully you will overlook this slight mishap)

Moscow (or to give it its full title to travellers - 'Moscow, the most expensive city in the world') is actually rather nice but niceness only takes you so far when you have to pay six pounds for a starbucks coffee! Red square was nice lit up at night and there were lots of soldiers about. From Moscow i got the train to Irkustk which sounds like a fun old ride. It was four days and nights on a train populated by lots of jolly travellers and no shower. It was not the fun old ride you might imagine. I shared with 3 australians who i am travelling with which was pretty good as i wouldnt fancy sharing with a russian chowing down on borsht and sausage. I read 2 books, wrote in my diary, slept a lot and avoided going to the toilet at all costs. We cracked out the vodka at night which was good but not so great when it came to sleeping on the top bunk of a train which seemed to be going and down hills at an alarming rate. The food was noodles, chocolate and occasionally whatever an old lady was selling by the platform. Often this was mystery pastry. The mystery was usually potato or onions which arent the best in a warm greasy pastry. Needless to say i think i lost weight on the train. The view outside gradually changed between trees, small town, snow, power stations and different types of trees. The Taiga forest of Siberia is twice the size of continental USA (apparently. i didnt measure). The train was a good experience despite possibly leaving me with chronic back pain.

Anyway after arriving in Irkustk we got on a bus (a mere 2 hours as opposed to the 96 of the train) to Listvyanka. Its a small fishing town on the lake baikal which is bigger than all of americas great lakes put together. I stayed in a russian guest house owned by an enthusiatic man called Nicolay. After a good days hike which i went on my own and forgetting a map. I ended up in the forest and climbed a 500m hill (i later checked on the map). This was a good walk although i did get slightly concerned about bears and whittled (if that is indeed the correct verb) a spear - just in case. When i got down the mountain (which didnt have a path... or maybe it did but without a map...) i went into a cafe and kept finding what i thought were little insects in my hair. After quickly finishing my meal to escape the bugs i went back to Nicolays for a banya (which is like a sauna but with an over enthusiastic russian hitting you with birch twigs). It was at this point i noticed one of the insects attached to my hip. Nicolay calmly picked it off (it put up a fair fight) and put it aside, i thought 'if its not big deal to him, its probably fine'. Today i arrived in irkutsk again and the local guide told me that good old nicolay had passed on the tick, in a jar, and she was taking it to a local lab for testing. The test results are still to come back so i have no happy ending for you, or more importantly me, just yet. Although i have had the bill for this service (440 roubles if you wondered - about 8 pounds).

Anyway, im on the train again tonight for about 40 hours to Mongolia. Fingers crossed i dont get struck down with tick bourne encephalitis or any other hard to pronounce, and spell, diseases during the journey.